I didn’t realize that your first baby turning one means people start asking when the next baby is coming but here I am fielding the question left and right. While we were back home for Evelyn’s birthday I saw a lot of newborns and it definitely pinged at my heart strings.
When I got pregnant with Evelyn, I started finding all these beautiful and inspiring mommy instagramers. They were all pregnant around the same time as me. Shockingly (to me anyway), so many of them are already pregnant again! I’m not mommy shaming that choice, but I just can’t imagine that for me. I’m FINALLY out of that newborn fog. Where I’m not terrified about leaving the house, where being alone with Evelyn at home or on an errand is manageable, I know her routine, what different types of fussing means, I AM FINALLY SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT (not that fake sh*t where mom’s say their babies are sleeping “through the night” but that really means 12am-4am), I lost the baby weight, I just stopped nursing and for the first time in TWO YEARS I can sleep on my stomach and I can finally retire the nursing bras (although I’m not quite sure where I put my regular bras…), Evelyn has two long naps a day and I can shower, put on makeup, eat lunch while listening to a podcast or audiobook AND get something done off my list. Anyway, if this epic run on sentence doesn’t give it away – I’m just really loving this life stage we’re in right now. When I was pregnant with Evelyn I was SO sick the ENTIRE pregnancy- two types of nausea meds daily, IV fluids from urgent care, and I could barely leave the house – no exaggeration, I didn’t go inside a grocery store for 7 months (gag). Every pregnancy is different and hopefully my second one won’t be as bad as the first but if it is (1) I’m not looking forward to that but (2) I also am considering what that means for Evelyn. We’re building this really special relationship right now where she’s able to communicate better, she’s so observant and has tons of energy. I don’t want to spend the next 9 months of my life too sick to be present for her. And Tim has been a total rockstar but I think he’s ready to pass the baton for a while and catch up on some much needed sleep and he deserves that break.
I randomly stumbled upon a recent interview with Aly Fedotowsky-Manno and she said if she’d realized how hard a second would be she would have waited. I so appreciated her honesty. She talked about how hard it’s been on her marriage, how resentful she can feel when her husband goes to work and she’s at home all day. And I totally get it.
There was an article a while back about how women in the US are having babies too close together and it’s not giving the mother enough time to heal (physically, mentally, hormonally) between pregnancies. Again, I just want to say that I’m not mom shaming any other mom and family that have chosen to have little ones back to back, but I do feel like I see a lot of that and I wanted to showcase another perspective.
For the first time (in maybe my entire life) I’m content. I’m happy with our little patch of grass. My hands and heart are full.
So for everyone like “Ok, Ok, Maria. But seriously, you haven’t answered the question.” I’ll say this: (1) When at least ONE of us is employed (2) and has a long term health insurance plan (3) and we aren’t living in a trailer or my parents basement (although if I am super sick it wouldn’t be the worst thing to live at home… at what point is living with your parents just downright embarrassing? Like, 32 is too old right? #AskingForAFriend…)